You'll be so proud

Premmie mum,

Right now you are hurting, confused, overwhelmed at the birth of your premmie baby.

You don't know what you did to deserve this happening to you. You are scared, and would do anything to turn back time.

From one premmie mum to another: I know how you feel.

t w e n t y - n i n e

Today I turn twenty nine. 

I'm standing at the start of the last year of my twenties and wondering what it will bring. How will this decade be sealed? I'm feeling a lot of trepidation.

And the reason is this: now Ada is 17 months old, the idea of having another baby at some point is being floated.

And while I want another baby one day, the thought of ever being pregnant makes me physically recoil, fearful, scared scared scared.

Being One

Dear Ada,

You are now 17 months old and you are so much fun!

You have really changed from a baby to a toddler in the past months. Your grubby hands and cheeky knowing smile are testament to this. 

My village

I've been meaning to write for a while about the ebb and flow of friendships. I've been mulling it over, as I've seen my friendships change as I've become a mother.

When Ada was born (in quite dramatic fashion) I remember being surprised at who showed up at the hospital, who supported us, texted me to check on me, brought gifts and who didn't. I'll be honest- at the time I was kinda annoyed that some people who I thought were friends I never heard from. But I can see now that they probably just didn't have the faintest clue how to respond in that situation. And I've found some people assume that when you become a Mum you're not interested in doing the things you used to. Which can be true but isn't always. I'm still me.

Steps forward and backwards

Two weeks ago I posted an elated status on Facebook: 

"This girl is 7.25kg and gaining and doesn't need to see her paed for feeding any more (just for normal premmie check ups) and is being discharged from her homecare nurse, slt and dietician ‪#‎progress‬ ‪#‎shessoawesome‬ ‪#‎proud‬‪#‎tubefree‬"

We were told she was being discharged from all care except the regular 6 monthly preemie check ups.

Turns out that isn't quite the case and she does need to be under some care for a while longer. There are still concerns about her weight and development.