So it appears I posted a rather vague update on Facebook last week (whoops!) and since have had people messaging me to see if baby and I are ok.
Last week I had a scan which showed that baby is not growing quite as well as he has been. Phrases like IUGR (Inter-uterine growth restriction- Ada had this) and SGA (small for gestational age) were thrown around, along with the possibility of baby coming a little earlier than he might want to. At the time I was quite upset about this possibility. A 35/36 weeker is nothing compared to Ada's birth at 30 weeks, however it could mean baby needs time in Special Care, which would mean being separated from my baby at birth- something I feel quite strongly about NOT experiencing this time.
However, by talking it through with my lovely friends and family, as well as praying and mulling it all over, I have been able to process and come to grips with this possibility. The appointment also gave me the motivation to finish all the last baby bits and pieces, so we are ready for his arrival whenever that might be.
I have also decided to take maternity leave. My line of work is freelance, so it would be easy for me to keep accepting work here and there when I feel up to it. However, mentally deciding to officially stop working from next week, to spend some time resting and with Ada, has been a good decision for me. I never got any leave before Ada was born (I worked on the day I went into hospital!), so it will be nice to do things a little differently.
I had another scan this week, and they can't compare baby's growth from last week to this one (it's too soon to compare) but they did check other bits and pieces such as the blood flow from me to him, and this is all fine! Therefore he should be grand to stick around another week, till next week when I am 36 weeks and we have the big growth scan- from there we will make a plan around his birth.
I think I'm now at peace with whatever may happen. Even though medical phrases were thrown around in todays appointment, in a quite unlike me fashion, I decided not to ask for more expansion on the terms, or explanation of their consequences. Unlike with Ada, who was labelled and diagnosed with lots of things, I feel comfortable at this point to not think too far ahead. We will know diagnoses and plans in full when we need to. I also feel confident and competent in my knowledge around birth and neonatal stages to advocate for myself and baby when we need it.
He might need to come next week, he might stick around a few more weeks. I may go into labour, I may be induced, I may need a ceserean. I'm feeling very 'what will be will be,' about things now.
We've made it so much further than Ada's birth gestation, and I know whatever happens, it will be a very different experience to last time. I'm excited to see what will happen, and very excited to meet my son.