Wednesday, 8 July 2015

The Motherhood: 18 Months

Ada,

You are 18 months old today.

As close to 2 as you are to 1 and I can't believe how fast time is flying.

To be honest, your first year dragged a little. This second year is flying by and I want to grab time by it's heels and tell it to slow right down!

Everyday is a new day with you. You are constantly changing and learning and growing.



Over the past few months you've shed your baby-hood goodbye and well and truly welcomed toddlerdom into our home.

In your first year I was sleep deprived, and you were still and mostly quiet. Now I (usually) have enough sleep, and you are chaos and noise.

You are talking and learning new words all the time. Current favourite phrases include 'less go' (as in, lets get out of here mum before I lose it!), 'dank ooo' (thankyou), 'shus' (shoes) and 'cuuk' (book.) You're a pro at animal noises but you haven't quite learned that sheep and other 4 legged animals don't all say 'ooof ooof'

You haven't mastered the word 'no' yet but you have mastered shaking your head which you use at your every whim.

Frustration and tiredness lead you to lose it- tantrums on an evening are your way of telling us you are O.V.E.R it! We're slowly learning to respond and cope with this new behaviour, and guide you through all these new overwhelming emotions. We get 'over it' too sometimes, and then take a deep breath and carry on.

You are a great sleeper and know your own limits. You happily go to bed and talk yourself to sleep.

Discovering lipstick
You are far more social than your Daddy and I put together. You gain energy and joy from being around others. Your idea of hell is a quiet morning home chilling out (quite the clash- that's my idea of heaven.)

You constantly challenge me to be a better Mum and person. I think before you were born I had this idea that I would reach a 'pinnacle' of motherhood which would involve me wearing an apron and happily building block towers with you for hours. You and I both know this isn't our reality. I can see now I'm never going to reach some great pinnacle of motherhood. I am flawed, and you are too and that's ok. We will muddle through together.

So here's to you, at 18 month, no longer my baby but my wriggly, joyful curious toddler. Here's to climbing and laughing and reaching and falling and all the bits in between.

It is my joy (and my heartache, sometimes) to watch you learn and grow and change.

Love,
Mummy xx

(See my other 'Motherhood' posts here and here)

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

You'll be so proud

Premmie mum,

Right now you are hurting, confused, overwhelmed at the birth of your premmie baby.

You don't know what you did to deserve this happening to you. You are scared, and would do anything to turn back time.

From one premmie mum to another: I know how you feel.

Sunday, 7 June 2015

t w e n t y - n i n e

Today I turn twenty nine. 
I'm standing at the start of the last year of my twenties and wondering what it will bring. How will this decade be sealed? I'm feeling a lot of trepidation.

And the reason is this: now Ada is 17 months old, the idea of having another baby at some point is being floated.

And while I want another baby one day, the thought of ever being pregnant makes me physically recoil, fearful, scared scared scared.

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Being One

Dear Ada,

You are now 17 months old and you are so much fun!

You have really changed from a baby to a toddler in the past months. Your grubby hands and cheeky knowing smile are testament to this. 

Saturday, 23 May 2015

My village

I've been meaning to write for a while about the ebb and flow of friendships. I've been mulling it over, as I've seen my friendships change as I've become a mother.

When Ada was born (in quite dramatic fashion) I remember being surprised at who showed up at the hospital, who supported us, texted me to check on me, brought gifts and who didn't. I'll be honest- at the time I was kinda annoyed that some people who I thought were friends I never heard from. But I can see now that they probably just didn't have the faintest clue how to respond in that situation. And I've found some people assume that when you become a Mum you're not interested in doing the things you used to. Which can be true but isn't always. I'm still me.
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