Legacy

It was my parents 30th wedding anniversary recently

I don't know about you, but 30 years seems like a long time. Longer than I have been alive. Longer than I can comprehend being with one person. I vowed to Matt to be with him till death parts us, and God willing that will be a lot longer than 30 years. Its just so hard, from this end of a marriage, to even imagine what we'll be like when we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. 

I can imagine the obvious of course - a few kids who will not really be kids anymore. Maybe they're off at uni? Finding love of their own? Maybe we'll own our own house, and maybe we'll still live in wellington. Will we still be working at the same jobs?

But all that stuff is immaterial really. I can conjure that up in my mind. But I can't imagine me in 30 years, and I can't imagine me and matt. What will our love be like? What will we have weathered together? What will we have achieved, and what type of parents, of lovers, will we be?

We're both so lucky to have great parents as relationship role models. Matt's parents have been married for over 30 years

And we both have a whole host of grand parents and relatives whose love stood the test of time. Aren't we blessed to have those who can show us how to love? Who have been through ups and downs, and are more in love than ever? Who can still make their kids say 'eww stop kissing!'

I can only hope that Matt and I will be like that to our children. Because, isn't that one of the most important legacies of all?

I love these wedding photos of our relatives, and I thought it was important to have their photos at our wedding day, to honour them. They, like us, were excited, in love, naive and nervous at the start of their marriages. And they made it.

I like to remind myself of those who have gone before, and who have stayed true to love. They have walked that road, and now some of them are gone, but their legacy remains.

And to them all, we say thank you.

Living for the Weekend

I have noticed a popular theme in Kiwi culture- that of 'living' for the weekend. People can't wait to leave work for two days of pure bliss - freedom! I can understand that. I love the weekend too, especially the Saturday sleep in's, and time with Matt and family and friends.

However over the years I have been perturbed at the ongoing persistence of this idea of living for the weekend. The weekend is only two days out of seven. If you are living five of those days longing for the latter two, then are you really living life? Or are you always longing to be somewhere, something different? If you can't be satisfied during the week, during your job or your studies, then what is the point? Seriously. You will be working for most of your adult life. If you can't enjoy the week, if you are always yearning for the weekend, then you will be living most of your life in misery.

I see the working week as my time to do what I am skilled in and passionate about. I aim to keep improving and giving my best to what I do. I aim to build relationships and take enjoyment from the small things in my day -small chats, funny comments, lunch in the sun, a snatched morning coffee, a job well done, a job not so well done but learned from and so on.

I aim to be positive about and enjoy my days. I think Mondays are just as valuable as Saturdays, if not more. Mondays are days I can have an impact, where I can be effective and do what I am made to do, wheras Saturdays are more about me - not as important.

This might be easy for me to say as I have a job I really enjoy. But this philosophy is one I apply to my whole life. For example, when I was single, I tried to really enjoy and soak in my days, to live and love the moments with my flatmates, with my friends, and the things that I knew would end when I got married. And now, I can appreciate those days of my life as days lived to the full, and days where I was happy to be in the moment and not (too) focused on what was to come.

In this moment, now, we are where we are and it is our choice to enjoy it or wish for time to fly past to something else. It's our life, and we will only get this time once. Why not view things well, make change if needed and be thankful and blessed for where we are. There is no use wasting our energy yearning for things to come.... they will come. But now is now, and its the only now we have.

Stop and Smell the roses