Now that we're only 10 weeks or so away from officially meeting each other I thought I'd write you a letter for your baby book.
I wonder how you're getting on in there, in your little warm cocoon. I imagine you are quite happy (as happy as an unborn baby can be) because I feel you kicking and twirling and hiccuping all the time. My weekly pregnancy updates tell me all the things you can do now - see light, co-ordinate movement, you have eyebrows and lungs that are ready to function- but even if I didn't know all this, I could still tell you are getting stronger and bigger week by week.
You're changing my body too in ways I didn't even know about. Yes the obvious- the bump- but also the waddle (I caught a glimpse of myself today- I am starting to walk like a duck), the fact that I can't put shoes on without your Father's help, the outie belly button, the continual heartburn. All constant reminders of how you are asserting yourself within me at the moment.
You're changing my fashion sense too- I used to be the type who would never wear leggings and jandals in public, but now I am all about comfort over style. Don't worry about your unfashionable Mother though, you will be the cutest, sweetest looking baby in all the wee outfits we have for you.
As for food, you have me craving cheese and milk. You must be growing some strong bones in there as I'm going through nearly a litre of milk a day at the moment. Oh my sweet tooth is as strong as ever as well, so I'm sure you'll inherit that too. McDonalds should be relegated to the realm of sometimes food, but I often use you as an excuse for just one more cheeseburger this week. One day I'll take you for a happy meal and we can indulge together. I haven't had any real cravings with you but you have put me off raw carrots for a while- a story for another day. Lets just say you owe me for 18 weeks of vomiting every day.
And, so much more than my body or fashion or food, you are changing me as a person as well. I have never felt so much love and excitement about meeting someone as I have you, baby. You are so, so wanted, and one day I will tell you about the journey we had to get you here. Your Dad and I are already besotted with you- you are on our minds constantly. Your Dad told me that you will be a Daddy's girl. I thought that was cute, and his way of showing he is so excited to meet you and to become a father as well. He will be such a great Dad- I can see it in him as a husband, as a friend and as an Uncle- how he interacts with your cousins. I think he will bring a lot of fun into our lives, and I know he will be the one you run to when he arrives home from work, after you've spent the day with me.
Your Dad and I are very excited to meet you. But- and I say this with love (and you will understand one day) - we are also terrified. Scared of how our life of just us two will change when you come along. Scared we won't know what to do when you cry, that we won't get enough sleep and will be irritable with each other or you. Did you know all parents are just winging it? Especially with their first child. I had no idea of this until I became an adult, an expectant parent myself. To you, we will seem to know what we are doing- but to us this is a new choose-your-own-path adventure, and we can only hope and try to do our best by you.
We aren't the only ones who are anticipating your arrival. Your Aunties and Uncles and cousins and Grandparents are all very excited too. Did you know you got a few presents this Christmas gone and you aren't even born yet! I have been surprised at how excited my little brother (your Uncle Chris) has been- your new life has brought joy into the whole family before you're even here!
Your Granny Malcolm (my mother) is secretly hoping you are a mini-me - she thinks it's payback time for all the years of tantrums I gave them (don't believe a word they say, I'm sure I was an angel!). Perhaps you'll be more like your father- a more demure, cute and shy boy from what I hear. Whoever you turn out to look like, or be like, we don't mind. We just can't wait to meet you and see you and learn about who you are.
We have a lovely name picked for you, I think it is beautiful and we can't wait till the moment we meet you and can call you by it.
Your Daddy and I already think you are amazing and can't wait until the day we meet you.
See you soon,
Love, Mummy xox