In my arms

Baby A,

For days you have been clingy, sleeping less, grizzly, grumpy. The only thing that can make you settle are my cuddles.

I was annoyed. I needed to get the washing on. To pump. To get dressed before the nurse comes. To shower.

I dutifully took you in my arms, my crying babe.

And each time as I stroked your head, as I whispered 'shhhhh' in your ear, as I found my mother instinct to calm you down, my frustration left me and I was home again.

These moments, with you in my arms, they are what I longed for, for so long. And they are not forever. I am so aware that these snuggly baby days are falling away like sand through my fingers.

And so, I let go of annoyance, of chores, of things that will never be remembered in years to come.

And I hold you close to me, my cherub, let you sink into my arms, and just be.

I breathe in your baby smell, feel your sweet breath flutter against me, listen to your baby yawns, grunts and groans.

I look at you, my baby, and see how beautiful you are, and how precious this time is.

And I snuggle you even closer.

My sweet girl, I love you more than words could express.

Mummy x

My favourite view

The motherhood: 6 months in

I recently found this post I penned when Baby A had been home for about 3 weeks.

Re-reading it brought all those raw emotions flooding back. And the funny thing is, I had completely forgotton that I had felt like that, that things had been so bad (bad enough that I lost a contact in my eye!!??). The human brain is a funny thing, I had so quickly forgotten the early days, just as mother nature intended.

Indeed, life is much much better now.