Thursday, 12 April 2012

The sex myth

I have been pondering posting this for a while. I'm not sure if its 'appropriate' or ok for me to post this, but it's been on my mind. I've read and re-read this post and have decided to go with it.
Don't worry, I'm not going to use any personal examples (ick!). But if the title of this post is freaking you out, well best you be on your merry way... come back next time, I'll be back to my tame self, I promise.

Moving on.

There's a big problem out there I think. It's to do with sex. More specifically, how we're lied to about how sex should be, from movies, books, magazines, music videos, advertising and so on. And, I think many people, when they finally settle into a marriage (or committed relationship), might find themselves a bit dismayed that the reality doesn't live up to the (constructed) fantasy. And I think this can be really damaging to relationships.

I'm not here to discuss whether our world is showing sex too much in the media, or whether we should just not watch that stuff so we won't see/hear the lies.
But we can't deny the fact that this stuff is in our face. Whether we should turn completely away from it is another topic.

Anyway. You all know how the media portrays sex. I don't need to get into details. You don't even need to think of shows like 'Sex in the city' (although you could), even more tame shows or movies that just hint at sex, still often show the mythical version. There is a portrayal of sex that shows the couple as completely in tune the whole time, perfectly beautiful, no embarrassing moments, and *ahem* enjoying themselves at exactly the same time, every time, several times in a row.

There is also the portrayal (primarily in magazines like Cosmo, or music videos), that women must dress oh so sexy, for their man, with the aim to please the guy. And apart from being completely sexist, it's wrong. Reality doesn't work that way.

We pick up these ideas about sex over the years and years of being exposed to it (wanted or not.) And when the time comes for a relationship, I think many of us have a distorted view of  whats healthy and normal.

Most of us understand the lies about body size, beauty and oh so perfect relationships that the media presents to us. But, because sex isn't talked about as much, I think this one is often overlooked, and not pointed out.

So, I think, when a couple is about to get married, someone (close and trusted) might need to give them a reality check. A few small pointers from someone could set the scene for a healthy and realistic relationship. We all know sex is great, but often it is very different to what we're told.

And that is my final word on that.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jennifer, thanks for this post. I'm exploring similar themes on my blog. And I've copied the photo you use with this post - it's beautiful - hope you don't mind!


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