Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Bind my wandering heart to Thee

Distraction is my biggest weakness right now.

I could blame society. After all we are the short attention span generation, the multi-taskers, the always 'busy', the ones who need the new, the fresh, the exciting, the ones who move on quickly.

That is probably part of it. Another part is that I don't even really attempt to really discipline my mind or my time. I get on the internet and its Facebook, blogs, recipes, pinterest, news websites, and BOOM, two hours have gone. Two hours when I really could have studied, cleaned the house, gone for a run, done some invoices, or even read a good book.

By wasting my time, by having an unfocused mind, I am wasting so many opportunities. I'm spending too much time on things less than worth of my time. These things are ok in moderation, and with purpose, but that is not where I am at right now.

Up and coming in our church is a fast for 3 weeks. Traditionally you would fast food of some type, and the purpose is to give something up, and spend time with God in the moments you would have been eating. To sharpen our minds, and let them rule over our bodies, instead of the other way around.

This fast I won't be giving up food, because giving up food won't be a sacrifice for me. Instead I aim to give up wasteful distractions for a few weeks, namely

-The blogs I love (Girls gone child, a cup of Jo, Picnic by the motorway and so on.)
-Wasteful internet sites like failblog
-All recipe sites except when I actually need a recipe
-And all other time wasting sites. (so, not email, or work/study related stuff.)
-Books or naps when I should be studying or doing other things
-I will continue with this blog, if I know my writing has a purpose. If I am doing it as a distraction, then thats a no go, so there may be less posts here.

This fast is only for 3 weeks, and I am excited and a bit scared. I know not having my time wasted will be so beneficial. Even if my church weren't doing a fast, I know I need some time out, to re-prioritise my time and where my mind is wandering. I feel like I need a mind cleanse or detox, to go cold turkey so I can decide what is important, to retrain my mind to be effective and useful, and to spend more time with God.

I don't know how the 3 weeks will go. I hope at the end I have a better perspective on how I use my time, and I will be able to wean myself back on in moderation. After all these distractions aren't bad in themselves, its just the way I am using them.

We are lucky to have free will, and choice in how to live our lives. It's time for change in mine. This process might take much longer than three weeks, but I'm ok with that. Breaking a habit and forming new ones takes time. In the meantime, my daily prayer will be;

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