Sunday, 29 September 2013

Opinions: People have them

So, now that it's becoming more widely known about baby on the way, people feel very eager to share their opinions with me and tell me why I'm wrong. It has begun!!

Now that I'm around 16 weeks pregnant, the most common question I get (apart from 'was it planned?' don't really wanna share about my sex life with you, random stranger) ahem, anyway, the most common question is 'will you find out the gender?'

Fair enough question. At the moment we think yes we will, although that may change. And it is SO crazy the amount of people who don't just disagree with our decision but tell us we're wrong and stupid. Sure, disagree away about our decision, but attacking us is not really fair. Comments we have had

"People can't keep anything a surprise anymore, it's the 'now now now' generation."
"People can't keep anything a secret anymore it's so stupid."
"Back in my day I never found out the gender and I don't know why people would today, it spoils it."

And so on.....

And, the birth. I'm having a hospital birth, probably with some form of medication (I'm keeping an open mind). I may have to have a C-section (medical reasons), and someone was dismayed by this. A c-section isn't a real birth you see. If I have the condition that means I will need a c-section, if I try and give birth naturally I would bleed out and die. Is that natural enough for you?

Come on, I am over 5 months away from birth anyway! And really, my private birth experience is only the concern of me, Matt, baby and the midwives/doctors. No one else needs to know, and giving opinions like that is not helpful.

Another decision (not really a decision at this stage, just a thought) is to go back to work for a day or two a week 3-4 months after baby is born. I don't need to tell you about the looks I have been given for this one. Sigh.

I had heard about this type of judgement that people feel free to give to expecting mothers, but man I have never been so judged in my life before about pretty simple and private decisions. And what is to come? I can only imagine it will get worse as the pregnancy progresses and then baby is born.

Look, I am happy to hear differing opinions on issues. That is how I learn. But not in such a disrespectful way. And if you are a stranger to me, I probably don't want to hear it. I'd rather learn from those who I trust, and who respect my final decisions.

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